{"id":472,"date":"2026-06-22T12:23:42","date_gmt":"2026-06-22T19:23:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=472"},"modified":"2026-11-04T11:13:18","modified_gmt":"2026-11-04T18:13:18","slug":"four-years-of-lies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=472","title":{"rendered":"Stalking, Harassment and Fictions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s occurred to me that many will not want to wade through <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?cat=13\">everything I&#8217;ve written on the subject<\/a>, so a summary is in order. A short essay apparently. If you are coming from a business or venue, perhaps perusing a <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=434\">guide to hate groups<\/a> in venues may be helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A number of years ago I <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=317\">started speaking out<\/a> against the open bigotry and hatred I was observing in various organizations. Mostly in Vancouver&#8217;s &#8220;DIY&#8221; music spaces. The writings here and <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=421\">these words<\/a> in particular may have contributed to the removal of a number of individuals from said groups. Please note that it was their own actions which were the cause. My speech may have simply called attention to the nature of their transgressions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ever since, I have been bedeviled with wild accusations and the circulation of vicious gossip. A &#8220;reputational poisoning&#8221; attack. Harassed with a multi-year smear campaign. In their latest move, they have <a href=\"https:\/\/statistics.crimecanada.ca\/learn\/violations\/criminal-harassment\">stalked <\/a>me to businesses I frequent, related fictions, perhaps encouraging the staff to \u201cspread the word\u201d. From what I can glean, this <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=653\">may pass the liability for slander to the staff and businesses themselves<\/a>. They have even sunk so low as to attack my efforts to <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=521\">rehabilitate an abused rescue dog<\/a>. I\u2019ve pissed off some truly awful people who care not who gets damaged in their pursuit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Why should you care? <\/strong>These false allegations not only damage my reputation and jeopardize the organizations wherein they occur, but weaken mechanisms designed to protect woman (&#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Boy_Who_Cried_Wolf\">crying wolf<\/a>&#8220;). I see a &#8220;report of misbehavior&#8221; these days and immediately wonder if it&#8217;s true, or another just another smear campaign. I know some others aware of my situation feel the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here are some facts to address the &#8220;gossip&#8221;. Note these statements are public. A semblance of which has submitted to various legal entities. Unlike my &#8220;whispery&#8221; pursuers, I take responsibility for my speech:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li style=\"font-size:20px\">I have NEVER solicited somebody at a live music event. The most I have done is respond to other&#8217;s inquiries, verbal or non-verbal. Reactive. The vast majority of interest has been deflected as I&#8217;ve never had much interest in one-time encounters. The only successful advances have been from those previously known to me. People I know and like. Few and far between at that. Gigs were always a safe place for me to enjoy music and chat. Until recently.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:20px\">I HAVE initiated (over a lifetime) a handful of encounters at dance nights. Based on other&#8217;s verbal or, as it common at these situations, non-verbal cues. The last must be over a decade ago as of this writing.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I have NEVER solicited or been involved with a service industry or retail worker. Some wonderful folks have indicated mutual interests and come on adventures. Gigs, hikes, dog walks etc. I have met their friends and partners and even attended their events in the arts and education. There has been no spice. No party has ever tried to initiate such. And yes, I am very chatty.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I HAVE experimented and engaged with other like minded individuals out in the world. Again, based on their cues. Europeans in particular seem far more direct in their communications. A refreshing change from the outdated gender roles much of North America subscribes to. In the case of anything &#8220;unusual&#8221;, this has involved sober (often written) consent and has been, again, initiated by the other party.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I DID make one of these unusual choices due to COVID. The first lockdown was horrible, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthcouncilcanada.ca\/covid-19s-silent-impact-how-the-pandemic-is-reshaping-canadian-mental-health\/\">a mental health catastrophe<\/a>. I was advised to &#8220;find company&#8221; in the event of it happened again. And to choose based on intellectual compatibility. Somebody had indicated an interest during the first lockdown, we ended up chatting and continued to do so over the summer. During which we made a pact to look after each other if it all happened again. And it did.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I WAS once jumped in my sleep by an amorous naked woman after crashing at their place. I confirmed their intent verbally before briefly engaging (then coming to my senses and putting a stop to it). Apparently they have since been representing the encounter falsely. Some people are just&#8230; messed.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:20px\">I have NEVER hooked up with somebody I met on Tinder. As a dating site, it was hopeless so I used it, and the travel function, for chatting during the lockdowns. Lots of interesting conversations, even with the omnipresent scammers (yes, plague isolation was that boring).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I DO occasionally make social faux pas, mostly based on not being able to read some sorts of social cues properly. If detected, I correct my behavior and apologize. I&#8217;m normally super careful. This can even come across as insensitive, it&#8217;s not, just (congenitally) oblivious.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:20px\">I DO take photos of hominids on rare occasions. Bands mostly. For portraits I gain verbal consent. No photos are published in any way without written consent. I think it is polite to hand back a physical copy to a subject (if the photos turn out OK), and I have done so several times as part of process of converting types of various types of digital images to print.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:20px\">I DO befriend and interact with a wide variety of individuals. Without much in the way of filtering based on gender, age, race, disability etc. It should be obvious by now, but I also DO NOT support segregation.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li style=\"font-size:20px\">Recently, I DID give my number to a middle aged barista visiting from Korea. For&#8230; the love of the animals. Through conversation we discovered that we both really loved the creatures and discussed local rescues, farms and a nearby beach where I walked <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=521\">my dog<\/a> (who adored her). I asked if she wanted my number in the event she wanted a animal friendly adventure. She consented. The manager of the shop reacted in a ridiculous manner to this, at one point physically restraining her from visiting the dogs and I, then forcing her up the street as she struggled to break away from him. To my eyes he seemed terribly controlling and the physical contact inappropriate. I did not pursue the topic, but made a <a href=\"https:\/\/dretch.com\/?p=608\">list of wonderful local rescues and farms<\/a> if she cared to visit on her own. Sad really, it would have been fun, and I could have learned more about Korea. Apparently this is what the stalking group has making a fuss about, yet another misrepresentation.<br><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"font-size:22px\"><strong>Anybody who is relating something which conflicts with the above statements may be, however peripherally, involved with a group of disgruntled bigots engaged in <a href=\"https:\/\/www2.gov.bc.ca\/gov\/content\/justice\/criminal-justice\/bcs-criminal-justice-system\/reporting-a-crime\/what-is-a-crime\/crime-examples\/criminal-harassment\">harassment and stalking<\/a>.<\/strong> If you are approached and the accusations seem serious enough, are criminal in nature or contain matters related to observing and reporting my movements (aka stalking), I encourage you to contact the <a href=\"https:\/\/vpd.ca\/contact-us\/\">Vancouver Police Department<\/a> and report the incident. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s occurred to me that many will not want to wade through everything I&#8217;ve written on the subject, so a summary is in order. A short essay apparently. If you are coming from a business or venue, perhaps perusing a guide to hate groups in venues may be helpful. A number of years ago I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":474,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,6,3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hate","category-learning","category-photo","category-rants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=472"}],"version-history":[{"count":57,"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":696,"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472\/revisions\/696"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dretch.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}